Thursday, September 2, 2010

Oh girl

Dear cottage cheese boot-ay,

Gurl, I know it's super hot outside and white linen pants seem like the best summery option to be fashionable and breezy. But with your choice of undergarments you were neither. Two words: granny panties. Wear them. Cover up the junk in the trunk. And girl, I know you want to shake what your mother gave you, I would too, but not in my face. Not in the subway. Not when I can't tell whether you're wearing a lacy g-baby or if you just decided not to pick that epic wedgie exposing your rump. So next time: pick the wedgie. Don't wear linen pants. And please, for the love of all things holy and sanitary, don't get your groove thing on in front of me.
lylas,
j

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